i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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