he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
