We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
