whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They took my balls.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
