One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
