Pregnant stripper...not hot.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
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i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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