Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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