I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
