He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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