I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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