pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
