I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize