Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
