i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
