was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
