She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
my liver is dry heaving
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
