..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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