I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
