I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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