This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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