there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
