hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
