I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
