puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you win again, gameday.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm at about main and main street
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
