IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
