wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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