we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Even the bartender felt bad for me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
