mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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