we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I love you. Go after that dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
