You surviving the open bar?
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No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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