Christians are straight up FREAKS
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i will never coherently bang her
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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