Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
