She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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