By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
