If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
