Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
