it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
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