it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
