Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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