White coat. Heels.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
