So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
how does that bad decision feel?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize