She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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