Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
