She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
