I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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