so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
