Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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