why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
