that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
