I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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