My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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