So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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