How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
