so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
