so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
