i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
