is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
