Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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