She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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