I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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