I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize