life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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