K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
