she smelled like a LAN party
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
