Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
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You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
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YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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