I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
